Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
