i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
