U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
