She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
