I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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