tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
nutella sex= disaster
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
