remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
