i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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