you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
