This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
