i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
