i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
