yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
