that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize