I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
