i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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