I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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