I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
COCAINE IS GR8
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
