whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
