ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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