So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
