I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
