Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize