Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize