Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
