as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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