I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
