my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
