I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
