Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
