Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
