i jhust puked up my retainher.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
