She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Randomize