is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
