It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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