And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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