So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
