ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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