I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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