Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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