your room smells of hookers.
And success
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
