Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
