just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
