I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
