I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Randomize
