I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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