Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
it's like iHOP with fire
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
But theres a keg here and me gusta
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
