genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
