I cannot find my penis.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
