if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
