roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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