Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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