ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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