does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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