Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
420 ftw
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I need a beard to bite.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
