now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
