Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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