He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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