I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize