He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
