do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
