Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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