the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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