What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize